Hulk is all about productive discomfort–the notion that growth requires us to step outside of the familiar spaces where we feel safe. My pain during childbirth had less to do with the relative strength of any given contraction but with the attitude I brought to coping with that. When I felt vulnerable or passive, I tried to hide from the contractions, which only made it harder. My midwives and my mom really helped me dig in, get active and aggressively pursue the contractions. I would dance to bring on contractions, then get in position and say, “Okay, this is gonna fucking suck, and I’m gonna make it suck even more, because then there will be one less contraction between me and my child.” I created new comfort zones.
- Jessica Lawson, aka Feminist Hulk, on the relationship between childbirth and SMASH. Much more Lawson awesome at the Ms. Magazine Blog.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Rockin' the Suburbs
This week I'm out in the NoVA 'burbs taking care of this 80-pound beast of adorableness, while my parents are in Florida and my brother's in Hawaii.
(I know. My family's got it rough.)
I've decided to treat the week as a mini-vacation, though I'll still be working. I'm taking a break from all TV, except workout videos, and trying to keep other screen-time to a minimum. I haven't opened my laptop since Friday morning. So far it's been pretty nice.
Of course, suburban life has its downsides too. I have a car at my disposal, which is not so much a bonus utility for moving/IKEA trips like in the city as it is a necessity for getting anywhere in under 45 mins (if I'm lucky). Even a fancy "planned community" like my hometown can only do so much with bike trails and carefully placed shopping centers. On the other hand, the places I CAN get to on foot are pretty uniformly gorgeous - quiet creeks and swaying poplars and serene lakes. And thanks to the dogface, I am obliged to frequent these locations, albeit usually with a little plastic-bagged excretory "present" in hand.
The quiet of the empty house has also provided me ample opportunity for contemplation, which is a blessing and a curse. I've used some of my reflection time to go through the detritus left in my old bedroom. Last night, after a rousing internal debate about exactly how many pages of ten-year-old notes about James Baldwin I really need to keep around Just In Case,* I found myself in this remarkably cliched situation: sitting on the floor holding open a sweetly painted white jewelry/music box with my name on it, listening to the tune as a little ballerina spun in the pink sateen interior. So much for tough-minded room cleaning; hello pointless sentimentality. I brought the box to the guest room, where I'm staying this week, and stored my wedding ring inside for overnight safekeeping.
Just so as not to leave this post on such a maudlin note, I'll end with this other intriguing window into my young mind:
Why, yes, that IS 12 naked Barbies, several decapitated or dismembered, and one lucky lady** wearing ALL of their clothes. Why do you ask?
*Two? Let's go with two.
**The lucky lady happens to be my Brooke Shields doll, the only Barbie I owned who mysteriously came with painted-on underwear. She really was clothed thoroughly.
(I know. My family's got it rough.)
I've decided to treat the week as a mini-vacation, though I'll still be working. I'm taking a break from all TV, except workout videos, and trying to keep other screen-time to a minimum. I haven't opened my laptop since Friday morning. So far it's been pretty nice.
Of course, suburban life has its downsides too. I have a car at my disposal, which is not so much a bonus utility for moving/IKEA trips like in the city as it is a necessity for getting anywhere in under 45 mins (if I'm lucky). Even a fancy "planned community" like my hometown can only do so much with bike trails and carefully placed shopping centers. On the other hand, the places I CAN get to on foot are pretty uniformly gorgeous - quiet creeks and swaying poplars and serene lakes. And thanks to the dogface, I am obliged to frequent these locations, albeit usually with a little plastic-bagged excretory "present" in hand.
The quiet of the empty house has also provided me ample opportunity for contemplation, which is a blessing and a curse. I've used some of my reflection time to go through the detritus left in my old bedroom. Last night, after a rousing internal debate about exactly how many pages of ten-year-old notes about James Baldwin I really need to keep around Just In Case,* I found myself in this remarkably cliched situation: sitting on the floor holding open a sweetly painted white jewelry/music box with my name on it, listening to the tune as a little ballerina spun in the pink sateen interior. So much for tough-minded room cleaning; hello pointless sentimentality. I brought the box to the guest room, where I'm staying this week, and stored my wedding ring inside for overnight safekeeping.
Just so as not to leave this post on such a maudlin note, I'll end with this other intriguing window into my young mind:
Why, yes, that IS 12 naked Barbies, several decapitated or dismembered, and one lucky lady** wearing ALL of their clothes. Why do you ask?
*Two? Let's go with two.
**The lucky lady happens to be my Brooke Shields doll, the only Barbie I owned who mysteriously came with painted-on underwear. She really was clothed thoroughly.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Favorite Things Friday!
Happy Friday! I am at home and feeling under the weather, but I want to go to here:
(Playing now at E Street)
I was blown away by this related Fresh Air episode, composed of interviews with Ken Kesey, Tom Wolfe and others and aired to promote the documentary. Kesey sounds so much like Ginsberg. I wonder how much their shared tonality and cadence were the result of the spoken language conventions of their era (somehow the linguistic equivalent of wearing a hat all the time?), and how much was their influence on each other and others in their circle.
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Gotta find something awesome to send to Fax Blog
(Playing now at E Street)
I was blown away by this related Fresh Air episode, composed of interviews with Ken Kesey, Tom Wolfe and others and aired to promote the documentary. Kesey sounds so much like Ginsberg. I wonder how much their shared tonality and cadence were the result of the spoken language conventions of their era (somehow the linguistic equivalent of wearing a hat all the time?), and how much was their influence on each other and others in their circle.
----------------------------------------------------------
Gotta find something awesome to send to Fax Blog
| ---------------------------------------------------------- Carli Davidson's photo series Shake  | |
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David Maisel's Art X-Rays (c/o Nag on the Lake)
The language-theory implications of the bouba/kiki effect (thanks to David Byrne)
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David Maisel's Art X-Rays (c/o Nag on the Lake)
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| © David Maisel, from History's Shadow |
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The logical extension of one of my favorite tumblrs:
Awesome People Hanging Out Together In New Yorker Cartoons
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All of the Big Picture photos from The Boston Globe, but especially the awesome sports photos
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Spock Is Not Impressed
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All of the Big Picture photos from The Boston Globe, but especially the awesome sports photos
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Spock Is Not Impressed
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Use Your Eyes: Wedding Pics!
Professional pics are in. I will let them speak for themselves.
All photos by and appropriate rights to Brian Drouin Photography. These and other photos available at Pictage (login required).
All photos by and appropriate rights to Brian Drouin Photography. These and other photos available at Pictage (login required).
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Use Their Words
You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
- Franz Kafka
- Franz Kafka
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Use Your Words: Lag Time
This morning I received some good advice from an old friend who once told me (quite rightly) to "get my shit together." It seems that time has come again. I've been a little less motivated at work lately than I could be, I haven't worked out at all since the honeymoon, and a number of Annoying Adult Tasks (dentist appointment, new checking account, ) have been languishing on my mental to-do list. I haven't been doing nothing, to be fair - yesterday I met up with our photographer (pro pictures coming soon!), baked a cobbler, met friends for a drink, and cleaned the apartment with E - but my emphasis hasn't really been on Serious Personal Responsibility or growth recently so much as Should I Get A Hand Tattoo. (I submit to you that the two really are quite mutually exclusive.)
On the one (not-yet-tattooed) hand, I will say that it's quite nice to feel so comfortable in my life and in my skin that I can pursue fun without massive guilt or anxiety. In some ways this is new for me - I've never been a super confident or terribly spontaneous person, though I might like to think of myself that way. I think it's also the result of my recently-celebrated partnership with E, which has a distinctly stabilizing effect on my whirring negative-Nancy brain.
On the other hand, 30 is staring me in the face and it's probably time to get some ducks in a row*. For a while now I've basically just been congratulating myself (and spending a shit-ton of money to have other people congratulate me) on my solid, happy relationship, while other grown-up goals of mine (home ownership, professional development) fell by the wayside. And I can't help but notice that, from a distance, that aforementioned stabilizing effect can look a little bit like laziness and complaceny.
Tough love says: the relationship is a lot, but it's not everything. And the best way to undermine it is to shirk other responsibilities. So, action time. Well, work time**, really, followed by a free screening of Fright Night (What? I already have the passes and they'll just go to waste otherwise! I can't do ALL the things in one day, right?)
But seriously.
What do you do when you need to buckle down?
*They're wily!
**Two ironies: 1) Completing this post made me (slightly) late for work - guess who's staying late today? and 2) When I did arrive at work, I was wearing lipstick, a very bland but work-appropriate outfit . . . and these (which did NOT cost me $183). Hello sensible keep-at-work loafers! See you at 5:30, shoes of amazingness.
On the one (not-yet-tattooed) hand, I will say that it's quite nice to feel so comfortable in my life and in my skin that I can pursue fun without massive guilt or anxiety. In some ways this is new for me - I've never been a super confident or terribly spontaneous person, though I might like to think of myself that way. I think it's also the result of my recently-celebrated partnership with E, which has a distinctly stabilizing effect on my whirring negative-Nancy brain.
On the other hand, 30 is staring me in the face and it's probably time to get some ducks in a row*. For a while now I've basically just been congratulating myself (and spending a shit-ton of money to have other people congratulate me) on my solid, happy relationship, while other grown-up goals of mine (home ownership, professional development) fell by the wayside. And I can't help but notice that, from a distance, that aforementioned stabilizing effect can look a little bit like laziness and complaceny.
Tough love says: the relationship is a lot, but it's not everything. And the best way to undermine it is to shirk other responsibilities. So, action time. Well, work time**, really, followed by a free screening of Fright Night (What? I already have the passes and they'll just go to waste otherwise! I can't do ALL the things in one day, right?)
But seriously.
What do you do when you need to buckle down?
*They're wily!
**Two ironies: 1) Completing this post made me (slightly) late for work - guess who's staying late today? and 2) When I did arrive at work, I was wearing lipstick, a very bland but work-appropriate outfit . . . and these (which did NOT cost me $183). Hello sensible keep-at-work loafers! See you at 5:30, shoes of amazingness.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Use Your Ears: Monthly Mix - July
Finally caught up! July's mix is available on Spotify here. (Does anyone have Spotify, and if so can you let me know if the link actually works? It kind of seems too good to be true.)
Chase No Face / BELL from zach lieberman on Vimeo.
New music courtesy of . . .
All Songs Considered
The lovely and talented Carla
Miss Moss
Andrew Sullivan
*In a blind listening session, E confirmed that this song is actually enjoyable. Apparently the trick with Kid Rock is to take a really good song that someone ELSE wrote, and then add a horn section.
| Artist | Title | Album | Notes | |
| 1 | Lady Gaga | Edge of Glory | Born This Way | Apparently inspired by her grandfather on his death bed? A reminder of a fun night out. |
| 2 | Neil Young | Walk With Me | Le Noise | Produced by Daniel Lanois (hence the album title). |
| 3 | Cee-Lo Green | (You're So Square) Baby, I Don't Care | Rave On Buddy Holly | Album of the month. |
| 4 | MGMT | Electric Feel | Oracular Spectacular | Saw her in the Amazon / with the voltage running through her skin / Standing there with nothing on / she's gonna teach me how to swim |
| 5 | Florence & the Machine | Not Fade Away | Rave On Buddy Holly | Florence + Buddy Holly + Tuba = WIN. |
| 6 | The Avett Brothers | Kick Drum Heart | I and Love and You | Truth in song title advertising. |
| 7 | Ra Ra Riot | Boy | The Orchard | Cat video? I don't know what this song is about but I like it. |
| 8 | Kid Rock | Well All Right | Rave On Buddy Holly | Annnd my brain is officially melted, because I like a Kid Rock song.* |
| 9 | Pogo | Very Good Advice (?) | N/A | Mesmerizing remix of dialogue from Alice in Wonderland. More. |
| 10 | Belle | Chase No Face | Diamonite | Neat video. Apparently the song is an ode to this cat. (WARNING: disturbing/sad). |
| 11 | TV On the Radio | No Future Shock | Nine Types of Light | Is "menacing dance anthem" a genre? |
| 12 | Amy Winehouse | Back to Black | Back to Black | R.I.P. |
| 13 | TV On the Radio | Second Song | Nine Types of Light | Every lover on a mission / shift your known position / into the light. |
Chase No Face / BELL from zach lieberman on Vimeo.
New music courtesy of . . .
All Songs Considered
The lovely and talented Carla
Miss Moss
Andrew Sullivan
*In a blind listening session, E confirmed that this song is actually enjoyable. Apparently the trick with Kid Rock is to take a really good song that someone ELSE wrote, and then add a horn section.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Use Your Words: Spousal Fashion Edition
After several glasses of wine this evening, I charged E with picking out my clothes for our late-night trip to West End Cinema. In the fashion magazine where I gleaned this idea (okay that's probably the first place I went wrong) the husband in question chose extra sexy clothes for his wife, which she thought were too risque, but then she kept getting lots of compliments so she just went with it.
Counterpoint: E chose my most boring (though very work appropriate and reasonably nice) black dress. Which is itself an accomplishment, because I have a lot of black dresses. When I harangued him about it, he went back and picked another (sexier) black dress for me, but I think the whole episode is pretty telling anyway. E is the type who chooses sensible shoes every time, not just because they're sensible, but because he genuinely likes them*. Fortunately, he chose a wife who, without hesitation, will buy white ballerina flats with wings on them in a half-size too small, on the internet. It all evens out in the end, right?
*It should be noted that, once he chose the black dress, he chose all the right accessories, AND that he specifically avoided choosing a dress that was the same color as the t-shirt he was already wearing. The man's not colorblind. Just . . . steady.
Counterpoint: E chose my most boring (though very work appropriate and reasonably nice) black dress. Which is itself an accomplishment, because I have a lot of black dresses. When I harangued him about it, he went back and picked another (sexier) black dress for me, but I think the whole episode is pretty telling anyway. E is the type who chooses sensible shoes every time, not just because they're sensible, but because he genuinely likes them*. Fortunately, he chose a wife who, without hesitation, will buy white ballerina flats with wings on them in a half-size too small, on the internet. It all evens out in the end, right?
*It should be noted that, once he chose the black dress, he chose all the right accessories, AND that he specifically avoided choosing a dress that was the same color as the t-shirt he was already wearing. The man's not colorblind. Just . . . steady.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Use Your . . . Intertubes?: Awesome Things Edition
Climb onboard the appreciation train (woooo woooo!) for an assortment of things I'm jazzed about right now.
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The amazing "skants" worn by enlightened Starfleet dudes in the first few seasons of Star Trek: TNG
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| Picture c/o GeekSix |
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Peanut Butter Creme Newman-Os
Peanut Butter Creme Newman-Os
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| I don't know why this picture won't rotate. |
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Spraying perfume on my knee-pits (I get to smell good without the perfume headaches!)
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| Lucky Magazine teaches me how to use products like a lady. |
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I haven't explored it much yet but I'm excited about the potential of Spotify
I haven't explored it much yet but I'm excited about the potential of Spotify
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Can't decide if I want to make it myself or buy this chunky knit sweater from Good Night, Day
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| found through Miss Moss |
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If A Married Lesbian Couple Saves 40 Teens from the Norway Massacre and No One Writes About It, Did It Really Happen? (Thanks to Jess for the link)
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OMG WHITE WINGED BALLERINA FLATS
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| Adidas js wings ballerina flats discovered through Nag on the Lake |
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Anyone else find anything superawesome recently?
Monday, August 1, 2011
More Music! It is the theme of the week?
If the internet gods cooperate, here are two ways I will keep myself entertained today:
The Library of Congress' new National Jukebox
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| Image Courtesy of Sound College |
Thanks to BUST magazine and my girl Rachel Maddow for directing me to all this awesome new ear-candy.
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