Of course, because this is me, biking to work also involves Lessons.
1. It’s hard not to feel holier-than-thou while commuting by bike. Even though I almost toppled myself while setting off after a red light at R & 14th. Even though this was literally my first bike ride since September. Even though half a dozen people passed me today. STILL BETTER THAN YOU, CARS.
2. It’s not a race (but if it were I would lose). As a deeply insecure person, I am also deeply and secretly competitive. Which means in practice that my not-super-in-shape butt gets sad every time someone charges past me on a hill, even when they’ve given fair warning and I AM going, like, negative miles an hour. And I’ve been passed by all types: fit folks in spandex, normal-looking people on bikeshare bikes, older folks in work clothes, ambitious snails. To be fair, sometimes they’re passing me in order to do something illegal and/or dangerous that I am too timid/law abiding to do. And sometimes I would like to pass the person in front of me but I am too scared/lazy to do it. I’m getting better about that bit, I think.
In general though it is hard not to feel inferior when comparing myself to the veteran cyclists on the road. Hello badass year-round DC bike commuters! Fair-weather biker here! Just wanted to let you know, now that’s it April: I‘M ON YR STREETZ, CLOGGIN YR BIKE LANEZ. Please try not to roll your eyes too hard!
3. The clothes don’t make the cyclist, but they help. The length and hilliness of my commute necessitates the wearing of workout clothes & shoes - which is turn makes me feel like an Exercise Imposter, because a) I am not a small person, and in my head spandex is reserved for small people and b) I am not really a consistent exerciser. I just have an athletic friend who generously passes me her extra workout clothes. If only street cred could also be transmitted via hand-me-down! On the plus side, wearing proper workout clothes does make me feel less like an unmitigated mess on my daily journey. Plus I keep my work clothes clean (if a bit rumpled), my toes protected, and my sweat where it belongs (i.e. in my crotch).
4. Not all traffic rules are created equal. I continue to build my working knowledge of when to obey and when to flout traffic regulations. Just as new drivers have to feel out for themselves how fast to drive above the posted speed limit, when to run a yellow light, and how to manage merges, I’m still deciding which rules make sense for a cyclist and which don’t. I remain overly cautious in general. Biking between cars stopped at a light on a bike-lane-less street? Fine: stay on the right side of the cars (unless turning left), watch for clothesline potential from parked cars and pancake potential from cars turning right, and stop if there’s a bus. DON’T MESS WITH BUSES. Running stop signs? More acceptable at four-way stops and infrequently-traveled streets than elsewhere. Slow down on approach and look both ways in all cases. Still, since my coasting speed is not far off from the average speed of most cars’ “rolling stops,” I don’t feel too bad about plowing through. Running red lights? Rarely. Again, evaluate the how busy the road is; one-way streets are better. Pull into the crosswalk if possible to maximize visibility, but be careful not to block or hit people walking there. Then, if your ears, eyes and judgment recommend, proceed with caution. Left turns? My best advice so far is, keep your eyes open and embrace the chaos.
5. Learn the ways of the pack-rat. Cycling in DC is a sweaty business. Don’t forgot your work-appropriate bra, as well as a towel and extra undies. Plus deodorant, everything of value in your purse/pockets, and bike lock & key. If you wear prescription sunglasses to ride, make sure your regular non-sun glasses are safely stowed on your person lest you spend the day at work looking like Tom Cruise in Risky Business (but with pants, unless you forget those too). It’s also worthwhile to squirrel away some essentials at work, including neutral shoes (black moccasins are my preference), even more extra undies, perfume, hairbrush, wet wipes, snacks, etc. Essentially, pack like you are the parent of a toddler, except that you are the toddler, so all the clothes should fit you.
6. There are hazards to Biking While Female. So far I haven’t been on the receiving end of too much harrassment, for a lady wearing spandex in public. I did have a guy lean out of a truck at a stoplight to tell me that he could understand how I “kept that body” since I bike. I told him that was inappropriate to say and he didn’t subsequently run me over with his truck so I’m calling that a pretty minor incident. On the other hand, I know folks who have been verbally and physically assaulted for possessing two x chromosomes and a pair of wheels, so YMMV*.
7. Here be monsters. Mythical monsters of the cyclist’s world include trash trucks, buses, vehicles parked in the bike lane, people spitting into the street (c'mon, folks, really?!), Segway cops, construction areas, trolley tracks, and lack of curb cuts. Also did I mention BUSES? And all also all the run-of-the-mill assholes just like in every part of life. Good luck with that.
8. Despite all the hazards and cautionary tales, biking really makes you appreciate The Little Things. For example, the guy who passed me on 15th street this morning performed a positively uncanny – and, I presume, unintentional - impression of Butthead (of Beavis and Butthead, duh) when warning me he was passing.
Happy trails.
*I just learned that acronym! INTERNETZ.
**Sorry this post is super long. If it makes you feel any better, it used to be two posts! Take THAT post that I wrote and never posted six months ago.
Happy trails.
*I just learned that acronym! INTERNETZ.
**Sorry this post is super long. If it makes you feel any better, it used to be two posts! Take THAT post that I wrote and never posted six months ago.
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