31 Today(ish)

My birthday was last week. Going strictly by the numbers, this depressing song should have been my birthday theme song:


But, as much as I dig Aimee Mann and her rad 'Til Tuesday hair, I'm way more into this song right now (also forever, perhaps not incidentally):


The day of my birthday, I took the day off of work, had a couple glasses of bubbly, and spent the day in my pjs in my beautiful house with a sleeping puppy in my lap. I made homemade cheez-its and blood orange sherbet, and threw some kale in the slow-cooker. In the evening I had pizza, watched a movie, and snuggled with my beloved/partner in crime.

So, you know, life is going pretty okay.

I meant to do this when I turned thirty but obviously didn't:

Things I have learned in the last 3(1) years

- Wool socks. November through March. Nonstop. Especially at bedtime.
- Having a lot of feelings about a friendship is not the same as being a good friend.
- Drama =/= Import. In fact, more often than not, it's the opposite.
- Taking care of others who are having a tougher time than I am can be an admirable and valuable thing to do. It can also be a way of ignoring my own problems and creating false self-esteem based on external comparisons rather than internal truth.
- Smarts, like other "inherited" traits, don't mean much unless they're in use. Accordingly, compliments about actions can be much more constructive than compliments about states of being (though really, all compliments are good compliments, and I will never stop wanting more).
- I am a pretty decent dancer, singer, and writer. I am good at organizing things and making plans, but not always great at follow-through. I am fundamentally wired for language, and not just in the normal human way. Thinking creatively in numbers or 3-D space is not my strongest suit, but I am perfectly functional in those departments for the purposes of my life and work. I am not awesome at drawing but I like to do it and should do it more.
- The older I get, the more important rhythm is in my musical choices (as compared w/ lyrics & melody).
- Aging in general has meant for me a narrowing in some ways, and a broadening in others: I focus on fewer things, but I focus on them more intently and more consciously.
- Having thoughtful, specific life routines solves a lot more problems than my teenage self would have imagined.
- I will always struggle with personal and social anxiety, and residual obnoxious-teenage-girl low self esteem. But I've come a long long way (through the hard times and the good).
- Tying my self-worth too closely to a job is a recipe for eventually hating both.
- 95% of the time when people complain, they don't want constructive advice - just sympathy. This knowledge will probably never prevent me from wanting to give advice anyway. (see "taking care of others," above.)
- I'm never going to like the act of cooking itself, even if I like the results. And that's okay.
- In cooking as in life, I am usually my own worst critic.
- Dresses are the best articles of clothing.
- People who are personally offended by the fashion choices of others are truly obnoxious. (If you don't like dresses, I am not personally offended. You do you!)
- I am a Feminist with a capital F. I reserve the right to be offended by people who aren't feminists (but not uniformly, since there is a lot of misinformation about feminism floating around, and punishing people for ignorance is, well, ignorant).
- Pee after sex. Every time.
- Light sleeper? USE EARPLUGS. (Can't believe how long this one took me.)
- I only like to hydrate via hot water or, on very very hot days, ice cubes.
- The ways in which I've been lucky in my life - from my family to my friends to my loves to my general life circumstances - are ongoing and endless. To be anything but grateful would be downright stupid.

Thanks all.